Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
