i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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