You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
