i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
