I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
