nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
