You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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