we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
