Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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