C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
