hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
