I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
