I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
