So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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