when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
