Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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