PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
