im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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