And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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