My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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