I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
