Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
