I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
