New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
