They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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