Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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