why do cheetos always look like penises
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
