Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
