We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
