Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
