He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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