but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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