I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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