Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
