Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
