someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
