i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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