Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Let's paint friendship bongs
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
