nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
