My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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