This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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