My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
