you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
