Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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