we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
