I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
