My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My breasts were aching with rage.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
