4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
