I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This is classic penis vs brain.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
