i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Less talking, more tequila
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
