so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
