omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
